Who Started all this Beauty Madness? by Kat Magendie

I flip through a magazine and realize it’s no longer strange to see clever ads for Botox and plastic surgery, the ones that make the decision seem a smart and savvy one for the up and coming woman of distinction. Why are we so hooked on “Beauty” and who started all this madness?

Let’s see. In ancient Babylon, not only the women but also the men wore eye shadow and eyeliner, darkened their lashes, curled their hair, and used henna for nail color. Ancient Grecian woman crushed berries to blush their cheeks and applied fake eyebrows made of ox’s hair. The Egyptians liked to show off their veins with blue "paint." Those girly Roman women made facial masks out of flowers, honey, wheat, and eggs. Oh, but the hardy Medieval women slapped bat’s blood to their faces (good god), while both men and women used pumice stones for toothbrushes (ouch). Beginning with the sixteenth century, women patted white lead on their faces to look “pale” (lord help them), and while they were at it they lightened their hair with lye--of course their fell out so they had to wear wigs.

Huhn. Well. Maybe a few lines and dark under-eye shadows aren’t so bad, considering what some will go through to look, um, good. We can laugh or say, “EEK!” at the ancient ways of beauty, but really, are we much better now? Today there is the aforementioned Botox and plastic surgery; and then, liposuction; hair plugs; weird crazy diets and supplements; stomach stapling and banding; “full body” lifts; lip plumper-outers that look as if the woman was stung in the lips by fifty-two hornets; cosmetic foot surgery to reshape the feet, for god's sake; and the uh, er, ahem, “female body parts” plastic surgery to beautify "down there," geez.

I smile at myself in the mirror. I’m not so bad. In fact, I’m grateful for the good genes my parents passed down to me. Good teeth, solid bone structure, healthy body. Yeah. Not so bad at all, considering the “cures” for what is the natural progression of our lives. I’ll take it…I’ll take me, just as I am. Be thankful for what you have, or else where will all this madness end?