Finding the Goodness by Barbara Quinn

My good friend Janet once told me to keep goodness at the center of all I do and then I will always know what to do. That little piece of advice has brought me through many storms and I am grateful for it. It’s so much easier to lash out and feed anger instead of turning the other cheek. I’m not always successful at finding the goodness and projecting it, but I do know that reaching for this attitude of goodness calms my center, and coupled with gratitude for all that I have, helps me walk through the most difficult of times.

I’m in the midst of a maelstrom right now, reeling in the sudden and inexplicable death of a beloved nephew. I am grateful for all the comfort and support from everyone who has reached out with a kind word or touch. It does make a difference to know people care. Sometimes we think it is better to let people be, to stay away and not bother them. And there is a point where there can be too much support, leaving the distressed seeking the quiet of a darkened room. But after all these years I’ve come to know that we are a lot like those elephants that they focus on, the ones who touch tusks while hovering over the dead body of one of their own, the ones who nudge and protect that body till they are sure it is really not coming back to life. We need each other and our rituals. We need the wisdom of friends and sometimes even strangers to bring us through the difficult times. For wisdom and compassion, I am grateful.