My husband is traveling for a couple of days which means I have some extra time alone. I’ve been married almost 35 years and I know how lucky I am to have hit the love lottery. I enjoy our couple time together.
But when Tom travels it means I can drop into my crazed artist phase. I guard these times and make sure not to clutter them up. I may skip a meal or two, eat breakfast for dinner, stay up late, and sleep in. I can forget about all the daily errands, avoid making or answering phone calls, let the laundry pile up, and the bed stay unmade. And I write till my eyes glaze over and nothing makes sense. Then I catch some sleep and start all over again. It's a productive time that I enjoy. It's the sleep part that gets a little rocky when he leaves.
When I was first married I didn’t sleep right when my husband left on business. He never traveled that much, but every time he left I tossed and turned most of the night. Now when he is gone I have less trouble, especially if I move into the center of the bed and take the whole thing over. His pillow stays close to mine and I can breathe in his scent. That calms me and I eventually drift off when I'm really tired. But I still don't sleep the same without him there.
When he calls to say goodnight, he’s the one turning in. I turn on late night TV and eventually I may drop off, but I’m just as likely to hit the computer again. A real benefit is that if I don’t sleep enough at night, I can take a huge nap in the afternoon. It’s such a joy to be able to do that. Since I’m a night owl, when I’m on my own I do tend to stay up till all hours. In fact, it’s really good that Tom keeps me on more of a normal schedule. Being blissfully unaware of the time is truly one of my favorite states of being because that’s when I find I have the best focus, but I need someone to drag me back to the normally scheduled world. Otherwise I might permanently forget to comb my hair, change out my pajamas and leave the house. I'd stay up all night and sleep all day, slipping into vampire mode. I'm lucky to have a guy who puts me to sleep!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
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3 comments:
I smiled thinking of other wives whose husbands put them to sleep for different reasons. I had trouble the first year or two of marriage, floating off to the Land of Nod without my husband home. That soon changed, as he spent a good part of each year on the road. I had to learn to sleep alone. Like you, I prefer night quiet hours of productivity, and hope my internal alarm clock will reset itself to those hours after I retire.
My mom's a night owl like that. When I go visit, I'll turn in early and sometimes I'll get up in the wee hours and see the light to her "work room" on - where her Bernina is and her computer. But, that light under the door is comforting. I bet that light was there when I was a kid, but I was too full of kid self-centeredness to notice.
Rog rarely goes out of town, but when he does, I take up the entire bed! MINE MINE MINE *laugh*
A few years ago he took a long trip with some friends that overlapped my daughter's senior week at the Jersey shore. It was the first time since she'd been born I was alone in the house for any length of time. Friends and family kept inviting me over thinking I'd be lonely, but I'd assure them "I vant to be alone." The fun of being alone is doing things in your own time. Writing at 2:00 in the morning. Grocery shopping at 10:00 at night. Taking your morning coffee out to the garden to do some weeding.
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