I walked The Rose Walk along Lake Junaluska, even though most of the roses are not doing so well right now. We had a surprise snow a week before, and a few gentle frosts, and then back to springlike weather. I glanced at the roses here and there, noting their bowed heads and browned tips. Then, this one rose caught my eye. It was browned at the edge, yes, but not bowing its head in defeat, and I caught a glimpse of the inside of a petal—the petal was soft, dewy, and bright glowy red. I took my camera from my jacket pocket and snapped a photo. That rose was the perfect metaphor. For although as we age or go through tough times, we may become a little brown around our edges, a little worse for wear, our insides are full and ripe and dewy and beautifully soft and young.
I smiled as I walked away from the rose. Quickened my step. Felt as if I’d found out some secret that really isn’t a secret at all. I walked tall and straight and proud, head up, eyes forward.
One of the great things about my generation of women is that “Older Women” are no longer considered headed out to pasture—look at the female actors who are over forty and still tearing up the screen (oh, not as much as we’d like, for youth is still revered), and women who defy their age and circumstance by doing the things they’ve always dreamed of doing but were unable to because of lack of confidence. Our confidence levels rise with our age, and with experiences. It’s an incredible time in our lives. I think back to when I was younger and how I cringed at the idea of getting older, and now I see the beautiful part of it, the freeing part, the I feel damn strong and damn proud part.
There are, however, times when I fear time is moving too fast and I may not have as many years in front of me as I had behind me, but that only makes me work harder towards the things I want to accomplish before I leave. And, there are fewer things holding me back now than there were then: including my own self.
If, like that rose’s inside petal, all we women (no matter our age or circumstance) could turn inside out, we’d all look the same—beautiful and complex, pulsing with life. That’s my gratitude thought for today.
I smiled as I walked away from the rose. Quickened my step. Felt as if I’d found out some secret that really isn’t a secret at all. I walked tall and straight and proud, head up, eyes forward.
One of the great things about my generation of women is that “Older Women” are no longer considered headed out to pasture—look at the female actors who are over forty and still tearing up the screen (oh, not as much as we’d like, for youth is still revered), and women who defy their age and circumstance by doing the things they’ve always dreamed of doing but were unable to because of lack of confidence. Our confidence levels rise with our age, and with experiences. It’s an incredible time in our lives. I think back to when I was younger and how I cringed at the idea of getting older, and now I see the beautiful part of it, the freeing part, the I feel damn strong and damn proud part.
There are, however, times when I fear time is moving too fast and I may not have as many years in front of me as I had behind me, but that only makes me work harder towards the things I want to accomplish before I leave. And, there are fewer things holding me back now than there were then: including my own self.
If, like that rose’s inside petal, all we women (no matter our age or circumstance) could turn inside out, we’d all look the same—beautiful and complex, pulsing with life. That’s my gratitude thought for today.
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9 comments:
Just lovely. Wish I'd been on the lake walk with ya! This is so good: "And, there are fewer things holding me back now than there were then: including my own self."
so good, kat. so good! so wise.
there are many things i cringe about in terms of getting older. but, like you say, i am looking forward to the strong, no holding back stuff. i would like to embody that now. :)
Great insights here, Kat, and fine writing, a terrific combination.
Angie -I thought of you while walking, how much you loved that area *smiling*
P - don't cringe! If you keep yourself healthy (reasonably at least) and all, it is a GREAT time...now, sure, I hate my forehead butt, hate the lines I am beginning to see...but even my menopause was easy - yup, lucky me, I seem to have benefitted from it (my moods are more even for one)....there is good trade-off for what one may perceive as "losses" of youth. The only one I hate is the loss of time - but there are no guarantees, are there?
T'anky Barb! :) I am among three beautiful gifted women here :)
Perfect!! I loved Mama Mia so much because they could still dance and jump on beds at their age! Meryl Streeo made me feel young!
Thanks for an encouraging post--I always need an age boost!
Oh, Mama Mia - I haven't seen it yet, but I love how MS looks like she's having the time of her life in that role! and she looks great!
Dear Kathryn, Love the title and content of this post. My little rose garden had a fine summer and now is time to trim them down and wrap them up for the winter. YOG is a great blog and has been added.
As ever be well, Stephen Craig Rowe
Stephen, I can only imagine your garden as is beautiful as your poetry and artwork! Thank you for stopping by again....I'll go put this comment on your site, though, in case you do not see it :-)
Dear Kathryn, Fine art and poetry are all these things near and dear. Then again newer and dearer. There is a light on the horizon as there ever is and as ever be well. Stephen Craig Rowe
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