Aging Gratefully by Angie Ledbetter

There's nothing in my face that speaks of beauty or youthfulness as I get closer and closer to the 5 decade mark, but on the inside, there is much I really like about myself. I am almost the person I want to be, doing what it is I was put here to do. How many people can feel confident saying that? Even as I wonder who that wrinkly, saggy, lumpy frumpy person is in my mirror some mornings, I eventually remember life has put the mileage on me through a huge variety of experiences, and then I am grateful for that person reflected back to me. And since I'm not Hollywood bound, I don't have to worry so much about my physical looks.

Being older means I've had more time to amass wonderful friends and to watch my children grow. Life memories are stacking up. The books I've read and music I've enjoyed are many. Age does indeed have its benefits, and one of the best is that I've learned to be gentler with myself. I've learned to quash the inner critic who wants to constantly remind me that my youth is past, like that's a terrible thing. I won't fuss at myself as often for eating an extra cookie or for my less-than-perfect housekeeping, or even the garage sale doodad I think looks so wonderful in my living room. Instead, I am grateful for the joy these things and realizations bring me. Being kinder in my self-analysis, I remind myself I'm entitled to a few of these goodies.

I do not wish to leave this life before I fully understand the great freedom and beauty of being older. That has happened to some I know, and it is sad. I don't want to have regrets and what-ifs hanging over me. Yes, I might well look crazy wearing an elf or Santa costume at my age or any age, but what if I'd cared more about what others thought? I've have missed so many opportunities to let loose, to laugh with abandon. Not caring so much is another benefit of age, and I want to embrace it daily.

Soon, I plan to don a bathing suit, something that has produced nightmares in the past, and jump into a lake or sun myself for a bit on the beach. I'm getting there in my "not caring" age, and can't wait. I know when I do that young faces will show disapproval, but so what? They will age too, and I wish for them the freedom to abandon self-consciousness when they reach midlife in order to more fully enjoy as they please.

My heart has been broken and tears have dampened my pillowcase, but the sadness I experience also means I have loved and I have given my heart to others to break. I know without doubt this is a better choice than holding on to it greedily so as not to be hurt. Disappointments are much better than regrets. Tears also soften the heart, make one understanding and compassionate toward those who hurt. So even bad times serve a bigger better purpose when we look past the present.

Today I realize the gifts of my wrinkles, of the gray in my hair, of the jiggly bat wings attached to my upper arms, for it is possible to buy some measure of youthful looks, but not the beauty of experiences and years which naturally age us, and I wouldn't pick differently if given the chance. See...it's just easier being positive when you have some age on you. You know the broken date for this weekend is not fatal. You realize a little cellulite will not ruin your life. You know if a friend hurts you, it's not the end of the world because you have others to spend time with and you know you'll work things out eventually. Being older doesn't mean you are always right, but it does mean you have perspective and a better ability to apologize when you are wrong.

I like getting older and the person I'm becoming. Knowing I am no longer an immortal teenager or youngish adult, I don't waste as much time or take dangerous chances. Age has taught me not to look back in regret or spend too much time worrying about what will be. I look forward, literally, to what's to come and what is now, and I am thankful.

How Grateful are We? by Angie Ledbetter

A Chinese proverb most often attributed to Confucius says, "Don't curse the darkness -- light a candle." I love that quote and say it to myself sometimes when I'm tempted to curse more than just the "darkness." ;)

When tempted to wallow in misery or sadness, I step outside whatever environment is causing the intense feelings of bleakness and get a glimpse of something refreshing. Today I sat outside in the early morning. The sun wasn't out of bed yet, but you couldn't tell it by the varied bird calls and songs filling the air. A cool breeze played in the outstretched arms of my Dad's mature fig tree. I'd gotten a decent night's sleep and had an aromatic first cup of coffee in hand while I breathed in the smells, sounds and sights surrounding me. I steeped in the light of the coming day instead of its mostly dark beginnings. Ahh.

Something else I've found refreshing is taking a gratitude test. Although there are many, this one is only six questions and scores come back immediately. Now it's official -- I'm immensely grateful -- the quiz proves it! And that reminds me that I'm thankful for this blog. It gives me frequent opportunities to look around, over, under, and beyond the moment to find treasures I'd probably otherwise miss.

Take the Gratitude Test

Down Days by Angie Ledbetter

It's not possible to be "up" and positive every day. It's not realistic to think you'll always have a glorious day or an attitude of gratitude either. Sometimes the best you can say is, "I'm glad I woke again this morning. Lord, help me make it through today!"

And there's nothing wrong with that. It's reality for most people populating this earth at one time or another. Stresses and worries pile up. No matter how fast we swat them away or resolve them, bad days are going to happen.
I don't mind so much, though. Without the down days, how could I appreciate the truly great ones? As human nature goes, if things were always golden, I wouldn't enjoy them as much. I'd take them for granted. So, in a strange way, Life's bad times serve their purpose -- they make me even happier when the good times come tap dancing in.

Today, or whenever things aren't going well, know it is only temporary (hopefully). Things will look and be different soon. Ride the ugly tides to a better shore and keep your chin up. Float or tread water and you won't drown.

Over the Rainbow by Angie Ledbetter

It's been a hectic week with several writing projects coming due at the same time, a major school fundraiser that sliced eight hours out of my Saturday, a double shift at work all week, two family members ill, my old Jeep's A/C went out (not pleasant in the South even in April!), tuition is coming due for two of my kids, my middle son got in a wreck helping out at the fundraiser yesterday...and a bunch of other stuff. Most of all, I'm sleep deprived and just plain feeling old. I've felt like my rainbow has led to a Port O' Potty instead of a pot of gold.

Okay, so what's there to be grateful for? It's that, in the end, I know everything is going to be okay. I can only control how I look at things and let them affect me. Like that rainbow photo, I can choose to focus on the not-so-nice portable bathroom, or I can look up and see the overwhelming beauty of a rare rainbow. Changing my focus and looking more into the future instead of at the immediate gives me hope. And, as always, prayer and faith in good people lift me up.

Revised week with the "rainbow" view instead of the "potty" view: I'm glad I got my writing assignments in on time and I feel a sense of accomplishment, the fundraiser went great and the athletic association earned some much needed money (plus I brought home leftover BBQ chicken for family and a bucket of baked beans to serve at the men's shelter), my brother is healing from surgery and Mom seems a bit better, my Jeep probably just needs a shot of freon, school tuition will be paid, and I'm really thankful no one was hurt in that wreck yesterday. All in all, I feel much better after a good night's sleep.

Rainbows or port o' pots...it's all in how you look at it.

It's All in the Perspective by Angie Ledbetter

While searching for (and sometimes struggling to find) something to be grateful for every day, I’ve been thinking a lot about perspective. Seeing events, both good and bad, from a larger view has taught me some neat things. Likewise, looking at a situation from someone else’s point of view has also been enlightening. Sometimes, what may seem like a curse to me is actually a joy to someone else, and vice versa. It’s all in how you perceive the thing/event.

We think there’s nothing good about getting your foot run over by a bus, but maybe there is. Along with the pain and suffering, perhaps being off our feet and home from work allows us to spend some quality time with ourselves. Maybe we’ll reevaluate that 9-5 job we hate and find a way to work from home. Perhaps our neediness will allow someone else to pitch in for a change. Or maybe we’ll think up some new invention to aid people with limited mobility. Who knows? But by staying open to the possibilities, the sky’s the limit on what might be...with the help of perspective.

The definition of perspective reads, a visible scene, esp. one extending to a distance, vista; the state of one's ideas; the ability to perceive things in their comparative importance. And here's a bit of Internet lore:

A wealthy father takes his young son on a country trip with the idea of showing him how the poor live. They spend a few days on a sharecropper’s farm, then return home. The father asks, “How was the trip?” “It was great, Dad, the son says.” “Did you learn from the trip?” “I saw that we have one dog and they have four. We have a pool that reaches the middle of our garden. They have a creek that has no end. We have imported garden lanterns; they have a sky full of stars. We have servants to serve us; but they serve others. We buy our food; they grow theirs. We have walls for protection, they have friends to protect them.” The father is speechless. Then the son adds, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are.”