My Drug Problem by Angie Ledbetter

Sadly, the title of this entry is familiar to many parents. I don't know anyone who hasn't been affected by drug or alcohol addiction; or has someone very close to them who has. This realization causes me worry for the future of our younger generations. Think about the people you know. Aren't many/most of them dealing with addiction issues?

The fact that I am not, and neither are my children (please, God, and knock wood), is attributable to the values and ethics instilled by my parents long ago. But many parents warn their kids about drugs. What makes the difference in those who fall prey and those who escape the devastating web of these substances? I believe it has to do primarily with graduating from the School of Drugs. I've read similar "research" from others, and the easiest way to explain this teaching is to give examples from my own childhood "drug problem."

I was drug to church every single solitary Sunday of the world, no matter if we were out of town or I didn't feel good. I was constantly being drug to family functions, parties and reunions; all of which I hated. Likewise funerals, weddings and meals. My ears are probably larger than they should be from all the times I was drug to my room and punished for being sassy, disrespectful, or for failing to make good grades at school. Several times I was drug to the sink and my mouth washed out for spouting an unacceptable word. More times than I'd like to remember, I was drug from my warm bed to do Saturday Morning House Cleaning. My parents drug me on weekends and school vacations to plant sweet potatoes, work car washes or bake sales to earn money for Girl Scout trips. I was drug frequently against my will to help others who had no one else at home to do chores.

Those drugs (and many others) forced upon me by my parents still run through my veins today and affect how I act and make choices. The residual effect is stronger than that left by all combined popular "recreational" drugs available today. And now, my poor children, hopefully, are suffering from the same generational genetically encoded behavior pattern. BIG words of gratitude to parents who are drugging their offspring today.

Wrong People by Angie Ledbetter

I’ve noticed a phenomenon lately that causes me to wonder. It’s perplexing, and I can’t trace it back to its roots. I don’t know if it’s a peculiarly American trend, or a global occurrence. Regardless of the answers, I’m going to try to reverse this movement any way I can.

What is it? It’s people’s general inability to accept that they’ve done anything wrong. It’s refusal to acknowledge they’ve hurt others’ feelings or that they’re generally not right about every single thing. I’m sure we all know pompous people with gratingly superior attitudes, as well as those who, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, will staunchly deny that they’ve made an error. They’ve always been around. The troublesome part is that their number seems to be growing. Think about it: when was the last time someone took the time (or even had the desire) to say, “I’m sorry; you were right about so-and-so, and I was wrong.” Or, “Hey, remember the other day when I scorched your rear at work for doing X-Y-Z? Man, that was really wrong and inappropriate of me.” Or even, “I’m so sorry I said what I did. I thought about it and realize I must’ve come off like a jerk. Will you forgive me?”

When exactly did we become these perfect creatures who no longer have to offer apologies or admit mistakes? Was it when the movie “Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry” was released? Have we as a society become people who truly think we do no wrong? The closest thing you hear these days is when someone mumbles, “My bad.” But even those instances are rare, and most aren't heartfelt.

To counteract this hideous mindset, I’m going to be hyperaware of apologizing and asking for forgiveness for small and large things. I know full well that I’m not perfect, and I don’t want to be perceived as always being right. So for anyone I may have thoughtlessly hurt, offended, or failed to apologize to for any reason, I'm sorry. I was wrong and you were right. I’m also going to thank those who are brave enough to buck this current mode of being. If I hear someone apologize or ask forgiveness under any circumstances, I’ll thank them for their braveness, tell them how much I think of their character; just as I seek out restaurant managers to report good waiters/waitresses and ask that a note go into their employee files. I'm grateful for their goodness.

Ah, Spontaneity by Angie Ledbetter

For many years, I was a prisoner of Responsibility and Routine – not the kind of R&R one usually welcomes. Married to a man who worked on the road for the better part of every year, I was pretty hemmed in with three babies at home. When the kids were all finally in school, my days shifted to include part-time odd jobs as well as being the main parent. Still not lots of freedom in the schedule. But now that they are in their late teens and two of them are driving, my days have suddenly loosened a bit.

Having lived under sometimes stifling duties, and spinning my wheels deeply in ruts (not that I’d change those years for anything), the freedom I’m experiencing is heady. For the first time since I was 16, except for the 5 years I was home with babies, I’m not employed outside my home. I flummoxed around at first trying to find a new routine, but with Spontaneity back in my life, I’m loving it.

Isn’t there some corny saying, song lyric, children’s book, or ad campaign that says, “Free to be me?” (Probably some tag line for a feminine product!) That’s how I’m feeling these days. Spontaneity allows me these and many other gifts:

*More time to create poetry and to work on writing projects.
*Time to take a poetry course and to attend writing conferences.
*Freedom to visit my parents and/or eat lunch with friends.
*The ability to show up at my kids’ school in costume. (And I have many!)
*Time to observe and appreciate the often-missed smaller details of life.
*An occasional nap around freelance assignments.

So, today, and for as long as it lasts, I am truly thankful for all the great things Spontaneity affords me. He’s a much kinder, selfless partner than those evil twins, Responsibility & Routine!

Wanna see how grateful you are? Check out this online quiz: http://www.beliefnet.com/section/quiz/index.asp?sectionID=&surveyID=105